Touch Me and Watch Me Burn
by jailynn
Summary: Toby has been touched and burned by her and he wouldn't have it any other way. One shot. Please review.


**Title:** _**Touch Me and Watch Me Burn**_

**Fandom**: Pretty Little Liars

**Spoilers:** Did you finish watching the first half of season 1? You did. Good, you'll be fine.

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. The show and characters belong to others much more talented than me. If they were mine however, I would have Toby and Emily together. * grin *

**Couple:** Toby and Emily

**Status:** Complete

**Feedback:** PLEASE! Love feedback!

Toby's POV. This is pure fluff, with a little angst rolled in.

[]

* * *

She's gorgeous. Blue. Blue is her color. The material of the skirt brushes her tan legs like the tide brushes the shore. Emily laughs and talks and listens to him as they walk up to the school. He feels the first pings of unease settle in his stomach. Suddenly his joy gets clouded by the reality that her friends wouldn't approve of them. And that could force Emily to realize her mistake. She turns back to him and tilts her head to the side. The moon light kisses her skin in a loving way. His breath catches. She's so beautiful it hurts. She moves closer to him and he is rooted in place. Her dark eyes shine, her full lips look fuller and so inviting. He wonders if she tastes as good as she looks.

Emily assures him that she wants to be with him, he doesn't have to dance- "Just move like this," she bounces a little, shifting her feet back and forth. "And I'll dance around you."

He doesn't have to dance, which is good because he can't- at all. Not even a little bit. She takes his hand in hers and he feels his body heat. Her hands are incredibility soft. Toby holds on, wanting nothing more than for everyone to see this, to see him with her hand in his. He wants the world to see her chose him, even if it's only for a moment- a small slice of time.

There is no hesitation in her steps with him at her side. She's confident. Whatever small part of him wanted him to be careful is shut up by her presence. She turns to look at him when they reach the doors to the dance. The left side of her mouth curves up and she squeezes his hand. It amazes him. She has so much to lose by being with him and she continues to hang on. His heart seizes in his chest. Earlier in the day he convinced himself he was only half in love with her, but he was wrong. Toby loves her with everything inside of him. And he knows if she were to ever ask he would give her every single part of his shattered soul on a silver platter.

He smiles back at her. Just a small one. Just for her. Only for her.

[]

* * *

After her friends get over the shock of seeing them, Emily drags him to the dance floor. The key word is drag. The music is unfamiliar and his body doesn't move the way he notices other people's do. The small amount of punch he manages to drink rolls in his stomach in fear of making a fool of himself. She rolls her eyes at him and grips his shoulders tightly, sending electricity through him, moving him side to side. He looks around him. Kids are whispering, pointing, laughing. Mouths hang out in confusion. Ben's eyes narrow in anger from the other side of the dance floor. Toby can feel the laser beams at his back, but Emily doesn't seem to notice any of it. Her whole focus is on making him sway in time with the music. When she's happy with his ability to shuffle his feet, she steps away from him and begins to dance.

Sweet and slow and sultry. Like honey dripping from a spoon. Her body moves closer to his slightly swaying one. His heart begins to pound as she smiles at him. Thump-thump, thump-thump. Her chocolate eyes sparkle with amusement, her arms extend above her head, her fingers curling, keeping perfect time with the music. He's never liked pop music. Popular culture often feels fake and contrived to him, but right now, he thanks the heavens above him some idiot with some ridiculous nickname and very little actual talent made this song. He swallows his tongue as she turns her back on him and shakes her hips, making that blue dress swing around her tan, long legs. Toby hopes no one is looking at him, and with Emily dancing like that why would they, because he is sure his expression is completely open and screaming, '_I want to take you to a dark corner and kiss you senseless_'.

She looks at him over her shoulder, a teasing glint lighting her deep orbs. Her full lips, God those lips, curve into a lopsided grin. Her cheeks flush, from the music or maybe the heat being generated between them, he didn't know and couldn't careless. His hand extends, touching the smooth, bare skin of her shoulder. Toby has to hold his breath to keep from moaning at the way she stares up at him. Their eyes lock. Brown on blue. He starts to lean down to capture her mouth in the kiss he hopes they both want, but she moves away before he can taste her angelic lips. He tries (and fails) to keep the disappointment from his face. Emily turns fully towards him and laughs at the dejection. He wonders if she's an angel sent from heaven to torture him for his sins, because at that moment with her so close, yet not nearly close enough, she is doing a masterful job of it.

The lights- red, blue, yellow, green, flicker across her body, caressing her curves in a way he has only dreamed of doing. Toby curls his fingers to keep from pulling her against him. Even his foggy brain knows that would ruin everything between them, he really couldn't believe she let him touch her shoulder. Getting her to trust him was hard and he worked everyday to get to where they were now, but it would only take one second to wreck it all. And that's the last thing he wants to do.

The song ends and she stops moving, taking his hand again. Couples come together on the dance floor. Girls hold their partners close and begin swaying with their heads on each others shoulders. He waits for her to make the next move. Everything is up to her. She pulls him to her. His arms wrap around her slim waist and hers link around his neck. Together they move side to side. She closes her eyes and smiles, resting her head against his shoulder. Toby is sure this night is a dream. He leans his cheek on the crown of her head and inhales her apple scented shampoo. He keeps his hands at her back, careful not to move them, he didn't want her to get spooked and push away from him.

The closeness is almost too much for him. If he closes his eyes, he could almost believe this moment was real. That she is his. That they are...well a '_they_'. Toby could drown in the wishes and dreams fluttering behind his eyes right now. Emily gives a little sigh, her breath warming the skin of his neck and his pulse jumps. Rational thought starts to ebb away, leaving only _what could be_ in it's wake. It's the _what could be's_ of the world that were the most dangerous. He clasps his hands together at the base of her back, gripping his fingers in a death clasp so they will not wander across her delectable body.

The song ends way before he is ready to let her go, but let her go he does. She steps back and looks at him. Really looks at him. He wonders (hopes) she sees the real him. Not the rumors or the lies or the questions that hang over his head, but him. Toby. The guy that will do anything for her. The guy that will protect her. The guy that will let her break his heart. Her brown eyes widen and then shift to the side. The spell around them breaks. He's let too much show and it scares her.

Emily takes a deep breath then returns her gaze to his. She opens her mouth, stopping once the music starts up again. Another pop song. Loud and fast. He now remembers why he doesn't like them. She shakes her head and grabs his wrist, leading him away from the floor. They squeeze between other teens toward the exit. Once they are outside, she walks toward the parking lot. This is it. The moment reality shatters his dream world. This is when Emily politely tells him that she likes him, but doesn't want anything more than a friendship. This is when he gets what he deserves and she goes in search of her real prince or princess.

She spins around in the middle of the dark lot. The light from the silver moon makes her look like the angel goddess he always believed her to be. She looks down at her black high heels, lifting her right toes and rocking on the heel. Emily's teeth chew her bottom lip and she twists her hands over and over again. Normally Toby loves the quiet of night. It's peaceful and no one mocks him when the moon is high in the sky. At least no one mocks him to his face.

"Listen-" he begins, the thick silence is about to choke him. She holds her hand up and he swallows the rest of his words.

"Why," she licks her lips and he watches the action closely.

"Why what?" Does his voice sound as husky to her as it does to him?

Emily tucks some hair behind her ear, "Why did you want to come here tonight? Why did you want to come here with me?"

_Wait seriously? She honestly doesn't know? How can that be?_ "You really have no clue do you, Emily?" She shakes her head, nervously. She wraps her arms around her body. He hesitates a moment before stepping towards her slowly. Emily watches him with wide eyes. She reminds him of a deer caught in the woods debating whether it's okay to stay or if its time to run. Toby stops a foot from her, keeping the distance she needs between them. "I wanted to come here because I wanted to be with you."

Simple honesty. The truth...half truth. He doesn't think telling her he loves her is what she needs to hear at the moment. He knows how confused she is. He doesn't want to add more pressure. She tilts her head to the side and sighs.

"Why," the word is spoken in a different tone this time. She isn't asking the same "_why_". It almost sounds like she can't believe anyone would want to be with her. Toby can't believe she would be so unsure of her own value that she couldn't understand why he would give up his dignity to have her in his arms for just one night. She leans against her silver car, keeping her head down and picking at her skirt. "Toby, I don't..."

"It's okay," he fights against the lump in his throat. "I understand."

Her head shoots up and her brown eyes widen to an almost comical degree. The expression would be hilarious if only the subject they are discussing wasn't so devastating to him. "You do?"

"Yeah," he shrugs. "It's okay."

"It is," Emily questions slowly.

"You have other feelings," he shrugs again, avoiding her eyes. "I had a feeling you came to homecoming with the wrong person."

"Wrong person," she echos. "Do you know who the right person is?"

Toby freezes and begs God to open the earth right now and swallow him whole. He doesn't want to have this conversation. He just wants her to tell him she's interested in someone else so he can get on with the inevitable pain that's waiting for him. "I..." he shakes his head. What can he possibly say?

She stands from the car, but doesn't move towards him. "I don't know who the right person is either." She lifts her right shoulder slightly in a shrug. "I know that I had a great time with you." He meets her eyes and waits for her to continue. "I know that Maya thinks I'm using you to hold off making a decision about her."

"Are you," he can't help but ask.

Once again she shrugs, sliding more hair behind her ear. "Maybe. Maybe not. I don't know." She taps her hands against the car for something to do. "All I know is I don't know anything for sure. I mean I felt something on the dance floor..."

He closes the distance between them and takes her face in his hands. His fingers bury in her hair and his thumbs caress her cheekbones. "What did you feel?"

She swallows, he can feel her muscles working under his hands. "I felt safe. And..."

"And..." he prompts. He needs to know. He needs to know if she's feels even a small amount of chemistry that he does between them. "What else?"

"And," she rolls her tongue along her lower lip. "And I wanted you to kiss me." She says the words in less than a whisper. More like on a sigh. Toby is caught between elation and fear. If he leans in, closes the distance, there is no turning back. They'll cross a line and he doesn't know if he can do it, no matter how much he wants to. His icy blue eyes drop to her lips. Her breath is warm against his chin as he leans in just a hair further. Emily's hands come up to grip his suit jacket, her nails graze his skin through his shirt. Fire spreads, setting his blood a blaze. She angles her head, her endless brown orbs half lidded. "Please..."

It's that word that breaks him. He closes the final inch, brushing his mouth against hers. Her lips are just as soft and sweet as he imagines. The kiss is light at first, he has no intention of ruining this moment and scaring her with his overwhelming desire. He lets her choose. If she wants more, she'll let him know. Emily raises up on her toes, sliding those small hands into his hair, holding him closer to her. She opens her mouth under him and he changes the angle of their kiss. She's more perfect than he thought she would be. Her mouth tastes of punch, mint and _her_. He tries to hold back, but then she sighs against his lips and he can't any longer. His tongue slides through her open lips and he deepens the kiss as much as he dares to. It's sensory overload, his lungs burn from lack of oxygen, but he doesn't care. He'll glad die right this second if it means dying with her kiss on his lips. He does pull back though. Toby breaks the kiss, but not his wonderful closeness with her. Emily looks up at him, breathing heavy, and smiles. He returns her grin, kissing her temples gently. She sighs again, closing her eyes. He drops his hands from her face and takes both of hers in his.

"Emily," she looks at him and his breath catches for a moment. He forces the next words out of his mouth, pass the mass in his throat. "Did you come with the wrong person?" He knows he might have shattered whatever is happening, but he needs to hear her answer.

She doesn't respond right away. Seconds pass and his stomach ties in knots. Then she smiles. "Maybe," his heart breaks. She thinks it's a mistake. Well at least he can go on knowing how she feels pressed against him. He looks down at the dark asphalt. Emily touches his cheek and forces him to look at her. That half smile is on her delicious mouth. "Maybe I went with you for the wrong reasons, to avoid Maya, but I didn't go with the wrong person. When I asked you to kiss me, you waited until you knew I was sure. When we did kiss, you let me decide how far I wanted to go. No one else lately has let me decide." She squeezes his hands and steps closer so their bodies are pressed together. "For the first time in weeks, I don't feel confused. I knew what I wanted and I wanted you." She rests her head on his shoulder, her mouth moves along his neck as she says, "We can still make that movie, if you want..."

He grins, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Yeah," he kisses the crown of her head and opens her driver's door for her. Closing it behind her, he rounds the car and looks up at the sky. Silently he says a '_thank you_' to whomever is up there making tonight possible. Getting into the car next to her, he turns to look at the beautiful woman at his left. She grins at him and starts the car.

Driving away from the school, Emily turns on the radio and his CD blasts through the speakers. Toby leans his head back grinning from ear to ear, the largest smile his had on his face in years. At a stop light, their fingers intertwine and he rubs his thumb against her pulse point, feeling it jump. Pride surges through him. She let's go of him just long enough to turn into the empty parking lot of the city park. Toby's insides knot up again, this time in anticipation. She shifts in her seat and leans over the gear shift to kiss him. One heated kiss turns into more. Hands pull at hair, hold on to clothing, touch skin. Her tiny fingers brush against the opening of his shirt and he burns.

Breathing becomes an issue and they pull away from each other to inhale much needed air. He finds it impossible not to kiss her though and places feather light kisses along her jawbone. Her phone chimes between them in her purse. Emily sighs, grappling to get the small device out of her bag. She looks down at it for a moment then tosses both her purse and the phone in the back seat.

"No texts tonight," she says breathlessly and takes his face in her hands, kissing him soundly with the moon light shining through the window of her car.

[]

* * *

Toby wakes with a start, looking up at the ceiling of his room trying to find answers in the cracks. He frowns and rolls onto his side. Another dream. Another stupid dream. What he wishes would have happened, what didn't. Emily didn't want him to kiss her that night or any night. She did take a text from Aria that told her he killed her friend. How many times has he had that dream or a variation of it? Doesn't really matter because the end of it was nothing like what actually happened.

She got hurt.

He got scared.

Now she's with Maya officially.

He went to jail.

She's moved on.

He's back now. After five weeks of being in jail for something he didn't do, he's back.

Pushing up from the bed, he walks to the window, moving the curtains to the side. He can see her house from his. White picket perfection. He lets the curtain swing back, turning away from the window. It hurts too much. He can't be sure she is the one that called the cops on him, but he did know that she is the only one he told where he would be that night. He wanted (wants) to be mad at her. Toby isn't though. Some part of him knew even then that she would be his undoing. By going to see her instead of just running, he set everything into motion.

The door bell ringing pulls him from his dark thoughts. He waits for, hopes for, someone else to answer the door. He just wants to hide. Stay in the safety of his room until he can leave this town for good. He'll finally give all the people what they've always wanted- a Toby free life. The chimes ring again and he sighs. No one must be home which means it's up to him. He throws a wrinkled gray shirt on his naked chest, leaving his feet bare and slowly descends down the stairs.

Reaching the bottom, Toby stops. He sees a flash of ebony through the side window and his heart pounds in his chest. The palms of his hands sweat as he turns the door knob and opens the door to her. Emily stands on his porch, her head down, her hair in a braid, she's wearing a pair of jeans and a blue t. She raises her head and crosses her arms over her chest. "Hi, Toby."

Not knowing what to do and not being able to speak, he nods and leans against the door. She shifts her eyes away from his, rocking a little on her heels. He can feel her discomfort from his short distance away, he wonders if she can feel his. Some strands of her hair falls from her braid and into her face, he fists his hands to stop himself from brushing it back. She curls the bangs behind her ear and sighs.

"I waited until I saw your parents leave with Jenna before coming over..." She pauses then says, "I'm sorry," quiet words spoken in regret. He recognizes that emotion well- regret. He has a lot of those. "I- I didn't call the cops, but -"

"But," he prompts her to continue, knowing she needs to get her thoughts out.

"But it doesn't change the fact that I didn't believe you," Emily frowns at her own words. He mirrors the expression. "I should have believed you. You've never lied to me and I can't say the same to you." She mouth twists as if she's disgusted with herself. "I'm sorry."

Toby nods again. "Okay."

"Okay?" She looks at him in disbelief. "That's all you're going to say?"

"What more do you want, Emily?"

"I don't know," she responds in frustration. "Yell at me. Tell me you hate me. Tell me to leave. Do something." Her eyes water a little and she looks away. "My friends and I ruined your life twice now...or maybe it's more. I think I've lost track of all the things we've done, but..." she wipes at a stray tear. "You've been hurt the most." Turning back to face him, she pleads with her eyes. "Tell me you wish you'd never met me."

"I can't," he walks away from the door, closing it behind him and sits on the chair by the front window. His hands fold and drop between his knees. "Like you said, I've never lied to you. I'm not going to start now." He meets her eyes. "I'm not going to yell at you so you can feel better. I don't hate you, Emily or your friends. You were all acting out in fear. I get that. I've been scared too. About what would happen when what took place between Jenna and I came out. I don't want you to leave. I've only ever wanted you to stay. And I'll never wish that I'd never met you."

She shakes her head, tears falling faster down her face. "How can you be so calm about this? You went to jail. I could have stopped that and I didn't."

"What's the point of getting angry?" he asks in return. "How is that going to help my situation? All it will do is add pissed off to my reputation. The angry freak." He shakes his head. "It's not worth it, Emily." He licks his lips. "I only have two more years and then I can leave this place and give everyone what they want. I'm not going to spend that time furious at the world."

Emily leans against the railing of his porch and rubs the water from her face with the backs of her hands. "I'm sorry."

"You've said that already," he smiles a little. "It's a habit I had hoped we had gotten out of."

"Yeah," she laughs, the sound is a bit watery. "I hoped we had as well." She sighs, "Maybe we never will."

He shakes his head. "I refuse to believe that." Toby stands from his chair and takes a step toward her. "Eventually you'll stop sending me to jail for things I didn't do."

Her mouth drops a little in shock before she laughs more fully. "I'll work on that."

"I'd appreciate it if you would," he tells her with a straight face. "It would make my life a whole lot easier."

She sobers quickly and moves in his direction. "Where do we go from here?"

"I don't know," he admits. Part of him doesn't trust her, doesn't trust that she'll believe in him the next time something happens. Part of him is still hurt over the fact that she continues to think the worst of him. Part of him feels betrayed by her. But all of those emotions are overshadowed by one- love. No matter what she's done, he still loves her. He'll still protect her. He'll still let her break his heart. "I just don't know." She nods. Toby sighs and says the first thing that pops into his head, "I heard you are with Maya now."

She laughs then shakes her head, "You heard wrong. We- uh- I don't know what we are." Emily meets his eyes and licks her lips. "I thought she was what I wanted. I was so relieved when I didn't have to keep the secret of what I thought I felt for her to myself, but..."

He raises his eyebrows, "But..."

"But I couldn't stop thinking about you," she places her hand on his chest right above his heart- which is beating at an unnaturally high rate with her being so close to him.

"What did you think about," his voice is low, husky, dry.

"I've thought about," she angles her head toward his, "this."

Their lips meet in the middle. Her kiss is better than anything his brain could come up with. Her mouth tastes delicious like a ripe strawberry in summertime. Her tongue is silkier as it slides along his. Her lips are fuller. Her hands feel amazing sliding through his hair. Her body is softer, warmer, real. She's more giving than he could have ever believed and he takes all of it, giving her all of himself in return.

A soft sigh escapes and he moans in response. His arms wrap around her back, sliding up and down, feeling her relax under his touch. One of her hands untangle from his hair to curl in the material of his shirt. In the back of his mind he tries to keep a rational thought- she could hurt him again. But that small voice is drown out completely by the pounding of his heart and the blood rushing through his veins. She backs up, taking him with her, so that her back is against the railing of his porch. He uses the extra stability to press more firmly into her, leaving her lips to slide his along her jaw down. Her breath catches, a sound that rocks him to the very core. Pulling away he drops his head to her shoulder.

"You do," he licks his lips to give him a second to regain his composure, "know that we are still on my front porch."

She leans back and turns her head, looking up and down the street. Nodding she takes his hand in hers, "You're right. We should stop." And with those three words, he really thinks about slapping himself silly. What possesses him to tell her that? She shifts out from under him. He has to close his eyes tightly not to groan at her body moving that way. She lets go of his hand and waits for him to turn around. Once he does, she tips her head toward the door to his house. "Are you going to invite me in?"

It takes a second to process what she said. His brain is a little hazy, but once the words register, he smiles. Toby rushes toward the entrance, opening it for her. She walks pass him and he inhales the scent of apples and roses. Emily stands by the stairs and listens for him to shut the door, once he does he leans against it. Each waits, neither moves. Both watch and remember. He takes the first step slowly giving her time to change her mind and run for the door. Another step. Closer and closer still. Her cheeks flush. She reaches out for him and he takes her hand in his. He leads her up the stairs toward his room. The only place he feels safe, the only place people haven't betrayed or hurt him. He takes her there, the one woman that can do both without even trying. He lets her enter first, watching her look around. She slowly spins, not missing anything. He waits for her reaction.

"It's not how I pictured it," she admits as she faces him again.

"How did you picture it?" _When did you picture my room? Did you picture yourself in it with me_?

"Messier," she smiles.

"Uh," he nods. "Yeah, I'm not much for messiness. Too much work to clean up later. It's easier to just be clean and open from the beginning."

He knows from her expression she understands his words the way he intended them. He isn't talking about the room. He's talking about them.

"Smart," she breathes. "Wish I could do that. Being messy seems like the only thing I can do right."

Toby shakes his head. "Not true." He stands in front of her. "You're more than you know, Emily. You just have to trust yourself."

"I don't know how."

"Close your eyes," she raises her eyebrow at him, but complies. He holds her in his arms, "What do you feel right now?"

She licks her lips. "I feel like..." Her arms sliding up to link around his neck. "Like everything will be okay." Tilting her head towards his, she whispers, "Like you'll always be there for me and I don't deserve you."

His lips slides across hers as he whispers back, "You got it all right except for the last part. Emily, you deserve much better than me."

"Agree to disagree," she says an instant before their lips collided together. Their second kiss is even headier than the first. Toby drowns in her. Her sighs make him slightly weak. Emily pulls away breathing heavy. Their foreheads touch and she smiles up at him. "Welcome home."

He tightens his arms around her, keeping her as close as possible. Laughing he presses his lips to her temple. Toby waits for the alarm to go off, for the dream to end, but it doesn't come this time. This time it's real. She's here in his arms. He looks down at her, feeling his body react to her. She touches him and he burns, but he wouldn't have it any other way.

Emily Fields, beautiful Emily Fields deserves a prince, but she chooses to be with him and he thanks God she does.

The End

* * *

A/N: This is my holiday present to all those that have been waiting for some romance in my other story "The Cost of Being Different". I know it's going to be a couple more chapters before I get to the lovin' in that story and wanted to give you all some happiness. Thank you so much for reviewing to my story. It means so much to me. I really hope you like this. Please review and let me know. *grin*


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